FEAR

Well, I survived my 50th birhtday week! I enjoyed a major celebration at the Montage where my son is a chef, enjoying a private 10 course meal with wine pairing. I did this by working out for two hours in the morning, eating lightly during the day and eating bites of things that I didn't love. I did LOVE a few things and ate it with enjoyment. Next came 90 guests at my home for a catered party hosted by my sons. The good news about being the birthday girl is that you dont have time to eat! I did taste a few of the amazing 12 items hand passed, and celebrated with one martini!

So I am learning that fun does not have to mean over indulgence. I have also learned that when I dont write everything down I eat more. With family and friends here and all of the celebrating I was not diligent about my food journal. I see it on the scale with an increase instead of the decrease I have been enjoying. So back to the journal with diligence.

For the past many weeks I have been having butt pain. I dont mean to the kind caused by another person, I mean the kind caused by my sciatic nerve/periformus muscle. I have had my back "go out" twice in the past. If you have had this happen you know it is very painful and scary. You cant walk, talk or hardly breathe without pain. Getting on and off the toilet is a major event! So I PANIC when I feel any twinge of anything in the lower back/butt area.

Lindsey has been trying to talk sense into me about living without fear. Now mind you I am not a marathon runner or triathlete, in fact I cant run at all. So why would someone who struggles to be a walker freak out about a little pain? I wish I knew! FEAR that is it, fear of pain, fear of any injury, fear of not being able to work, fear of not being able get off the toilet! So I try to remember what Lindsey tells me, what is the worst that can happen. (well being stuck on the toilet would pretty much suck) So I am struggling to live without fear and deal with things as they come and not fear what "could" happen!

I wanted to share with you my issue with FEAR, because we all have fears, they present themselves in many ways. So as I begin live in my 50s (GOOD LORD) I am going to work on getting past my fears, in their many forms, and move forward.

I hope you are both well, face your own fears this week, and over come them!

DeeAnn